i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
