if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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