i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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