That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
