i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
