I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
