Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
