Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
