she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
