Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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