Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
