my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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