So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
