It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish you could order shots online.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
