Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
