I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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