Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
