"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
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I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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