Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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