Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize