Your dad touched me again.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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