fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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