I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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