Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
