it hurts more in the daytime
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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