Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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