I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
