Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
