I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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