If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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