It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
