there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So apparently I’m into choking now
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