its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
