Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
