Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
