Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
