I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize