Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
