Me too!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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