am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
