??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you can't hotbox the world.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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