I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
MIDGETS
????
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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