So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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