we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't think brook has ever known best
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
