phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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