Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
