I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
