Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
