dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
