I look better un-naked...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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