So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
