he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
