I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
