it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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