apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
