I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
