just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I pour the whiskey from now on
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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