Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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