OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just had sex on a roof
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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