i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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