Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
