Soap is not a condiment
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
