just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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