It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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