We're facebook friends in real life
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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